As I wrote about previously, I’ve been struggling with some serious family issues. It’s still not quite the time to share too many details, but calling it a struggle is an understatement. I almost feel like I’m dealing with the grief of a death-like loss, although there has not been a death. Not literally, at least.
But the silver lining has been that God has pulled me closer through all of this. One thing I’ve never been great at is doing my daily devotionals, taking my quiet time and reading His word. However, I’ve been desperate for hope and wisdom through this situation and I’ve gone straight to the Bible for it, and thank the Lord I did.
I know it’s still early, but I’ve read the Bible daily now for about 2 weeks. And I’m not just reading one verse... I’m reading multiple chapters!!! (Am I saying that right?! Somewhat newbie-Christian here!) And not only am I reading, I’m also doing the YouVersion bible app daily devotional stories (which are great, I highly recommend them).
And of course, I’ve been praying - A LOT. Praying for wisdom and insight, praying for guidance, praying for answers, praying for those who are against me right now.
There really is power in prayer. Even though my troubling situation is not yet resolved (and may never be), I can already see God working through this and answering some of my prayers.
For instance, I’ve been asking my mom to go to counseling with me to work on our relationship recently. I’ve probably asked her 4-5 times, and all times she has refused (most recently, yesterday). I went to sleep last night anxious and mentally distracted, so much so that I woke up around 4am and could not go back to sleep. About 20 minutes into laying in bed awake, my husband suddenly asked, ”you’re up, too?” - turns out, he couldn’t sleep either. (His lack of sleeping may have had to do with indigestion from the hot wings and beer he had for dinner... but I digress. He says he had a lot on his mind, as did I). It’s certainly unusual for both of us to be awake in the middle of the night, especially at the same time. He is a solid sleeper, though I do tend to wake up often with thoughts on my mind. But last night (or should I say, very early this morning) was different. We were both wide awake at 4:30am. We talked, I walked around a bit, we both tried to go back to sleep, and then I felt compelled to pray together. So I asked my husband to pray for us, and he did - out loud. I love when he prays out loud for us, he can be so well-spoken when it comes to prayer.
After that, an hour or so had gone by, we both eventually fell back asleep. Although by that point it was almost a waste because we had to get up with my son (who turns 1 this weekend!!) at 7am anyways.
But either way, I woke up to a message from God - an answered prayer, if you will. More literally, I woke up to a voicemail from my mom. In her voicemail, she decided that she would try counseling with me. It only took multiple requests and weeks for this to happen, but I was super surprised and happy to hear this! I don’t know if it will fix our problems, but I’m hoping it’s a step in the right direction. A Prayer of Gratitude
Thank you, Lord, for answering that prayer, even if it’s a small prayer in the grand scheme of the situation. Thank you for giving me the strength, wisdom and love to keep asking for it, despite blatant refusals and other hurtful words and actions. Thank you for giving me a small sign to maybe not give up on this relationship yet. I’m grateful for your presence during this challenging time - I know that you are with me. Amen.
Verse of the Day
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV