Today was my first day back to work after 3 months of maternity leave (and ironically, it's also apparently National Working Parents Day - who knew).
Saying that it was really hard would be an understatement.
Yesterday, I distracted myself with things all day as to not think about going back to work today. Last night I wanted to stay up as late as possible because I knew that if I fell asleep, then I'd have to wake up and work (kind of like the exact opposite feeling of Christmas morning as a kid when you can't wait to go to bed so you can wake up on Christmas!).
I woke up this morning super early because I couldn't stay asleep out of anxiety. I got up and starting puttering around the house - doing dishes, laundry, picking stuff up - anything to distract myself from the pending 9AM start time.
And then I had a small mental breakdown. I had to get a good cry out just before opening my computer and starting this morning. Thank goodness my husband was here to give me a hug because I really needed one at that moment.
I'm super blessed to have a great job that pays well and that allows me to work from home... so why has it been so mentally difficult in the past 24 hours to start working again?
Before baby, I was a workaholic. I'm probably still a workaholic. But I have some serious mental block right now about it all.
I just finished my first day back at work, and most of my day was spent receiving my warm welcome back with lots of sweet messages from colleagues and sifting through 5,000+ unread emails. I also had a couple meetings to catch up with folks. It wasn't a "hard" day of work, so to speak. But I'm completely mentally drained, and unfortunately not excited about work.
For any working moms or working parents out there, did anyone else struggle with this transition? How did you get through it and get back to "normal"?
Did anyone go through this and decide to stay at home instead?
First time mom here looking for some help, guidance and support!
I do know I need to pray about it all and seek Him. He'll know what's best for me and how I need to move forward. Any good bible verses for direction are also welcome in the comments! :)
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